I want to have a life

After I wake up in the morning, while getting ready, I do a lot of reflection about my life. I'm not sure why these thoughts come to me in the morning as opposed to the evening, but that's besides the point. One of the thoughts I had this morning was that I wanted to date more in 2010. Not necessarily have a man, because that would be wonderful too. I want to date more than one person. I don't want to be a slut, but I would like to have a few different men to date at different times.

Now, I don't want to sleep with these men. In this day and age of STD's running around, I can't take that chance (not that I would have done that anyway). I just would like to know how it feels to have different men to spend time with. I've always been one of those women who never date men. I don't go straight from relationship to relationship, but when I date someone they're always the one guy I'm dating at the time.

I don't want to do that anymore. I want to go out on dates with different men, different personalities. I don't want an entire black book of men, but 2 or 3 should suffice. With all of these men (the straight ones) running around the ATL area (city and suburbs), I don't think I should have too much of a problem. Yeah, I know there are a lot of women in this place, but I'm going to think positively and not let that stop me. The women who are dating down here are not letting that stop them, and I shouldn't be any different.

Crime in Atlanta

WTF? The crime in this area is unreal. Let me take that back. The crime in the actual city of Atlanta is unreal. I live in Metro Atlanta (a suburb of Atlanta). Everyone refers to all of the areas just as Atlanta, but that's another story.

Most mornings, I listen to the news while getting ready for work. I generally want to hear what the weather is going to be, but just leave it on to hear the rest. BIG mistake. This morning I actually turned it off because it was getting too depressing. I known the news is generally known for having depressing stories, but the city of Atlanta is a mess. Not all parts, but sheesh.

I DVR'd my soaps for today and while I was watching one of them, they interrupted the show twice because of a quadruple homicide that happened right in the middle of the day at a Penske rental location. Very scary. I'm wondering what their crime rate is. Seriously. I believe even the crime rate in NY has gone down!

It makes me apprehensive about traveling into Atlanta because that's where the majority of my meeups are.

I don't know about this one.

Sigh

This is just a random post.

I go back home the day after tomorrow. I can't believe it feels like I just got here, and now it's almost over. I think I'm saddest about leaving my mom. I have to do something to make sure she gets down there with me.

In other news, I am really starting to wonder about people. I frequent a forum which has a lot of different topics. In one of the forums, someone made a joke about Rhianna being beat up. Now, I like a good joke like the next and I'm sure that I've laughed at some off color things myself. However, a girl getting beat up is not one of them. That's not really the thing that 'bothered' me. The thing that got me most was that the people who were laughing (and commenting) the most were the people who frequent the Christian forum. The are quick to quote the bible and talk about the Lord, but then turn around and start laughing (hard) at a joke about this girl being beat up.

Seriously? How funny do you think it would be if it was you getting beat up, or a family member? I know it shouldn't baffle me because as someone who's lived for a little bit, I should realize that there are just some nasty people. The thing that's so funny is, it's like they forgot that they're supposed to be (hard core) Christians. I'm not going to front. I'm not a hard core Christian (even though I am trying to improve my relationship with God), but I'm not going to front one minute like I'm holier than thou and then go somewhere else and try to fit in with the popular crowd.

It's just ridiculous. I'm madder at myself because I shouldn't even be writing about this. It's a waste of my time, but I'm only human. I will write this here as my release and just leave it at that.

I just pray to never turn into one of those people.

Thinking about starting a Meetup group

One of my goals for 2010 is to be more social and make new friends. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm not really a person who goes out a lot. However, I would really like to change that for the new year. It's not that I want to go out all the time and close down bars, but I would like to at least get out a few times a month. Some people go out every weekend. I'm not sure if I want to go that far just yet, but I won't say it's completely out of the question.

The majority of the meetups near me are in Atlanta. That's cool and all, but for someone who drives an hour one way to work (away from Atlanta) it can be a little difficult to travel into Atlanta, especially if it's a meetup that's after work. That would mean I need to drive 60 miles back towards my house and then (probably) another 25 or more miles past my house into Atlanta. I'm not sure if I want to do all of that driving.

Because of that, I'm seriously thinking about starting my own meetup group. If you don't know what meetup is, it's a social website which consists of clubs with varying interests. There are bowling meetups, dinner and a movie meetups, coffee meetups among other things. I think initially it started out as a dating social site, but it has gone way past that. They do, however, have groups still geared towards dating, and...for the BOLD, they have meetups for swingers. That's definitely NOT my cup of tea, but more power to anyone else who's into that.

I'm a little nervous about starting a meetup because even though I am a person who can (for the most part) get along with lots of different people, I am actually very shy. It's such a big task, and I'm wondering if I'm up to the challenge. Plus, I've never organized a group before, so I'm wondering if I can really do it. I think I can, but, as with anything I'm a little apprehensive with something new.

My main purpose for doing this is to meet for black women (and men). I have "friendships" (read: acquaintances) with several white people. I have a true friendship with one white male (who I love to death), but I want to truly meet down to earth, black females that I can hang out with and (eventually) have a true friendship with. I'm not going to find them by just staying home. Also, not too many people go out of their way to interact with me. I've tried, but sometimes it's hard. I found out years ago that many women (and some men) think that I'm stuck up, but when they get to know me it's cool. The thing is, as more time has gone past, more women don't want to take the chance to get to know me. I have tried to do all that I can to appear friendly, but it just doesn't work. I'll see what else I can do about that in 2010.

Now, I'm off to look at some meetup groups that I currently belong to and try to find out what all a meetup group entails. I just need to refrain from joining another meetup group (because I belong to A LOT).

A New Year

I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of optimism this morning. I know it's a new year, but I feel different this year as opposed to other new years. I'm not really sure what that's about. Maybe I'm entering into a new season. Maybe I'm finally growing up. Either way, I'm happy to feel this way.

I did go out and buy my planner yesterday, and I have already started using it. Just in these few short hours, I've realized how important it is to start planning...I mean REALLY planning things. It's much better to put things on pen and paper in an orgranized, designated space as opposed to just having random sheets of paper all over the place.

Last night, I went to New Year's Eve mass. I have NEVER done that before either. I am very happy that I went, even though the church services were like being at a rock concert. Regardless, it was nice going into the new year the right way.

I am ready to face whatever challenges 2010 has for me knowing that whatever happens is a learning experience and that I will be able to get through it as a stronger, better person. That's not to say that you won't catch me complaining on here (because I am still human, lol), but at least I know that whatever it is I'm complaining about won't last forever.

Let's go 2010!