I've never been a person to have a lot of friends. It just never worked out that way. I really would like to find a best friend. The last time I had a best friend was about 11 years ago, and I messed that up so badly I still feel bad. It wasn't intentional, but I was going through a really horrible time in my life, and I couldn't be there for anyone else. I didn't know how to tell my best friend at the time (I was young). She even asked me to be her child's Godmother.
I told her years later about how bad I felt and how I was so depressed during that time. I remember when it was time for her baby shower and I was so depressed that I couldn't even get out of the bed. The ironic thing is, she lives down here now, but I have yet to see her. I haven't really told her that I moved yet. She knew I was moving, but I haven't sent her anything saying that I'm here.
In any case, that friendship is over, but I would really like a close friendship. I want a girlfriend that I can go out with, see movies and go shopping with. The typical girlfriend stuff.
I'm trying to stay active by going out to these meetups. Ok, I've only been to one (and have another one tomorrow), but I'm at least trying.
I called one of the girls I met last week at the meetup. I left a message, but she never called me back. I wasn't upset about it, because I just met her, but it just made me wonder. I'll see her tomorrow and will see what happens.
I would also like a small group of female friends with no drama that I can hang out with as well. I would have liked for us to get together on a Friday night and go out, or maybe have a Girls night at one of our houses.
I'm going to keep praying on it.
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